how do cats choose who to sleep with

Cuddle Time: How Do Cats Choose Who to Sleep With?

Nothing beats snuggling in bed with your pet during the winter months. However, while dogs are always up for some cuddle time with everyone in the family, cats are a bit pickier.

While they may get along with people, they won’t trust everyone enough to sleep with. As a cat owner, this may confuse you, and you may end up wondering— how do cats choose who to sleep with?

Surprisingly, the answer to that is incredibly complicated. And understanding this behavior is the best way for you to bond with your feline friend.

How Do Cats Choose Who to Sleep With? 5 Factors


For cat lovers, these majestic animals are the best thing in the world. However, we have to admit that sometimes, cats are weird. They can be affectionate one minute, and then angry the next.

And yet, this fierce independence is exactly why so many people love them. While you can get a dog to trust you easily, you have to earn a cat’s love, which makes it all the more special. One of the biggest ways they show their love is if they choose to catch some zzz’s with you.

But how do cats choose who to sleep with? There are a few factors that contribute to your cat’s sleeping habits you should be aware of.

1. Who Feeds Them

As disheartening as it sounds, it’s true. Cats are incredibly pragmatic and will do whatever it takes to have constant access to a food source. Therefore, they’ll usually prefer to hang around the person who feeds them.

They may choose to sleep with this person because that will give them immediate access to food. Has your cat ever woken you up in the morning to get you to feed them? Well, if they’re right next to you, they can do this much faster.

2. How Warm You Are

The biggest in-joke among cat owners is how cats love to sit on laptops—especially when you’re in the middle of working. However, they don’t do this because they want to be spiteful, or annoy you. Cats are hardwired to love very warm places.

Because they’re descended from desert animals, they’ve evolved to tolerate higher temperatures than humans. So while they may have a thick fur coat to protect them, they still prefer to chill around areas that are nice and toasty.

Therefore, if you want your kitty to snuggle with you, make sure you have plenty of blankets to keep them warm.

3. Whether They Think You’re Safe

Cats can spend 15-20h a day sleeping. No, this isn’t because they’re inherently lazy. As predators, they need to conserve a lot of energy to successfully chase down their food. The problem is, all this napping exposes them to dangers in the wild. Therefore, unless your kitty trusts you, they’ll be very hesitant to sleep with you.

To get your kitty to snuggle up, you have to make sure they see you as someone they can trust completely. If you make your bed as comfortable as possible, then your feline friend will have no problem relaxing around you.

4. Position of The Bed and How Comfortable It Is

Because cats need so much sleep, they will usually choose high places, or small hidey-hole in the wild to catch some zzz’s. This is because treetops and secluded hovels will help them hide from larger predators. Therefore, if your cat thinks your bed is in a vulnerable, exposed position, they may hesitate to crawl in there with you.

However, if you make a nice, little den for them there, they may be more tempted.

5. Personal Preference

When asking ‘how do cats choose who to sleep with’, this reason is the simplest one. Sometimes, your feline will just bond with a particular family member more deeply than with others. There are many reasons why they do this. However, most of the time, it comes down to who cares for them the most, who plays with them, and who they see most often.

Therefore, if you want to be your kitty’s favorite person, make sure you spend quality time with them.

Should You Let Your Cat Sleep With You? Pros and Cons

Should You

Now that you know the answer behind the mystery of how cats choose who to sleep with, the next question is — should you let your kitty sleep with you? While it mostly comes down to personal preference, there are several pros and cons to the experience.


• It helps reduce stress — Having a cuddle buddy at night can help you unwind faster.

• You can bond with your favorite furry friend — Sleeping is an intimate activity, so snoozing with your kitty is a great way to strengthen your bond.

• It can make you feel less lonely — Sleeping with a pet can make you feel so much more secure than doing it alone.


• It may mess with your sleep — Cats are nocturnal animals. Therefore, having a cat in your bed may be detrimental to your sleep schedule, since they can wake you up multiple times during the night.

• Outdoor cats can carry diseases — If you let your cat out of the house, you expose them to a plethora of potential diseases. They can then pass these diseases to you if you often snuggle up with them.

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