how to turn a girl on

How to Turn a Girl On: 14 Tips to Get Her in the Mood

Is anything in this life more exciting than the sensual dance that happens between two prospective lovers? The flirtatious looks, the hesitant touches — never knowing whether it’ll all end after a night or a lifetime together? That is the stuff dreams are made of! Of course, if you hope to move past the dreaming stage of seduction, you’ll have to learn how to turn a girl on.

Once you know what women like, you’ll understand what you need to do to make yourself a more desirable partner. So without further ado, let’s get into it.

What Do Women Find Attractive?


When it comes to sparking the flames of desire, most men only require visual stimuli. Sometimes, even a heated look is enough to get the gears turning. Conversely, women usually need a more rounded experience.

To truly pique a woman’s interest in any sense of the word, you’ll have to be the full package. Moreover, you’ll have to be able to give her the peace of mind she needs to engage in sexual behavior. With that in mind, let’s talk about some of the traits women find attractive in potential partners.

1. Basic Cleanliness

First and foremost, if you’re hoping to get a woman to want you, you’ll have to start with a clean slate. Really, that’s not too big of an ask. You just need to brush your teeth and make sure you don’t stink.

Of course, some women do like a bit of sweat on a man. But there’s a difference between the clean scent of post-exercise sweat and the smell of a guy who only showers once a week.

Everything else about your appearance is, as always, a matter of preference. Whether you’re a bearded hipster or a clean-shaven businessman, you’re sure to be some woman’s ideal type. But in either case, you’ll have to keep yourself — and your home — neat. Nothing can turn a woman off faster than entering a filthy bachelor pad.

2. A Strong Sense of Style

Even though women don’t always prioritize appearance when choosing partners, many of them still prefer to have sex with men who have certain physical attributes. You might have noticed that girls tend to like partners who are taller than them and who maintain a decent level of fitness. But even if you don’t have those traits, you can still make yourself look more attractive by curating your wardrobe.

If you don’t know what kind of clothing suits you best, you might want to do some quick online quizzes. Women use those questionnaires to determine which silhouettes work best for their body types, so why shouldn’t you? If you lack inspiration, you can even follow some male fashion influencers who have a similar body type to yours and try to emulate their outfits.

If you need a more specific hint, try incorporating red pieces of clothing into your looks. According to scientific consensus, that is a surefire way to look more attractive to prospective sexual partners.

3. Drive and Confidence

There are many non-physical traits women appreciate in men. In fact, even women who have no interest in forming long-term attachments tend to prioritize men who behave a certain way. So don’t think you’ll get away with being rude just because a woman is only looking for a fling. After all, the way you act in public and with strangers can tell them a lot about the way you’ll perform in private.

Now, we’ve decided to split the desirable traits into two categories. First, we’ll talk about the stereotypical alpha male traits some people think the world revolves around.

It’s true — women usually gravitate toward assertive and ambitious men. That tells them that a guy isn’t a total pushover — he’s willing to take charge when necessary. It also shows that he has goals and plans for his life. So even if he’s living in his mom’s basement (though hopefully, you’re not), he won’t be for long.

Being ambitious usually comes with having some kind of skill, which is another thing women find attractive. Of course, most women prefer men who have diverse interests over those who are only obsessed with one thing. So even if you love gaming, it shouldn’t be your only hobby.

On top of all that, it doesn’t hurt that ambitious men are trying to become richer. Wealth just makes it easier to woo a woman, though it is by no means a requirement. Even if you’re not rich, you should just avoid looking like a cheapskate. So just tip your waiters and you’ll be fine.

Crucially, being confident is only a desirable trait if a man is also humble. So if you’ve ever been called cocky or egotistical by a woman, you may want to tone it down.

4. Kindness and Loyalty

Manners maketh man. So the second group of non-physical attributes women find attractive in men is all about the way you behave. Women always notice how you act around strangers, friends, and family — and especially other girls. Additionally, the way you behave around kids and animals can really make or break your chances.

If you have a chance, you should show your soft side by being charming, entertaining, curious, and optimistic. Being attentive and chivalrous in public are also great signs that you’ll be emotionally and physically present in sexual situations. Of course, in today’s world, these traits can easily be misinterpreted through a cynical lens. So whatever you do, make sure it’s coming from the heart, with no artifice involved.

14 Ways to Turn a Girl On

Having established the basic traits women find attractive in men, it’s time to learn how to turn a girl on.

1. Make Sure You Look and Smell Good


Like it or not, your appearance plays a huge part in whether a woman will find you attractive. In fact, it goes well beyond first impressions. Rather, you should think about every one of your encounters with the woman you’re trying to turn on as a first meeting.

That’s why you should shower and shave regularly, and make an effort to coordinate your outfits. For special occasions, you can even break out the tux. Alternatively, if the woman you want to attract usually sees you in businesswear, she’ll probably find the thought of seeing you in casual clothes more attractive.

Before you head out to meet your girl, make sure you smell good too. But please, leave the obnoxious body spray at the store. Instead, opt for a classy aftershave or cologne. If you’re already close to the woman you’re trying to turn on, you can have her pick the fragrance for you.

2. Catch Her Eye

Much like animals use certain movements to attract partners, eye contact and body language are a huge part of the human mating ritual. A single glance can communicate your interest in a woman. It can captivate and dominate, but also show honesty and authenticity.

Of course, your body language has to match what you’re saying with your eyes. You can’t be hunched over at the bar, staring holes through women’s heads. Instead, having expansive, open body language can show your confidence and score you some points with the ladies. And if nothing else, standing straight won’t hurt your back.

3. Debate Her

Being a fun conversationalist is a great indicator that you’re fun in other areas too. With that in mind, you should be able to discuss a variety of topics with the woman you’re attracted to.

A spirited conversation can easily spark the flame of desire. Just steer clear of topics that are too political (like reproductive rights) or just convoluted (like crypto). But keep in mind that women can tell a lot of things from the way you handle yourself in a conversation.

Pushing your points without being receptive to your conversational partner’s opinions can be a huge turn-off. There’s nothing less sexy to a woman than a man who insists they know more about a topic than she does. That’s especially true of men who get into scientific debates with women who study the field.

So in a way, knowing when to back off and accept defeat can be a desirable trait too. More to the point, it can demonstrate to a woman that you’re able to listen and adjust when needed. That skill tends to translate well to other areas of your life — such as the bedroom, and beyond.

4. Learn to Listen


Aside from lacking basic conversation skills, many men also seem unable to truly listen to women. So if you master that skill, you’ll already be one step ahead.

If you want to turn a woman on, listen to what she’s saying — and show your attentiveness. Put your phone down and learn how to gauge her mood. As we have previously established, some women aren’t able to get into a sexy mood because of outside stressors. By hearing her out, you may find a way to eliminate some of those worries, allowing her to focus on you.

Sometimes, it’ll be a matter of letting her vent about her job or her family. In that case, you’ll be an outlet and an escape from her everyday life. The move from being an outlet to being a fantasy is pretty easy.

Additionally, learning a woman’s little tells will allow you to adjust your approach when you have seduction on your mind. You wouldn’t approach a frustrated or angry woman the same way you’d approach a playful one.

In any case, once you break the ice and build a rapport, you’ll be able to open the floor for different kinds of discussion topics. Eventually, moving a conversation to sexier topics will become more natural.

5. Open Up

If your interest in a woman goes beyond the sexual dimension, you’ll probably want to share more of yourself with her. Sometimes, making yourself vulnerable like that can trigger a woman’s desire.

After all, most women like to listen as much as they like to be heard. Being mysterious has its charms but only if you end up sharing your secrets every once in a while. At the beginning of your relationship, that might involve sharing details about your past. Additionally, talking about your hobbies is a good way to show how passionate you can be.

As your exchanges get more heated, you could try sharing more provocative information with your partner. Namely, you could tell her about your deepest, darkest desires. Just mind that you don’t broach that subject too early on! You should both be comfortable with each other before you cross that line.

6. Compliment Her

No matter how confident they are, everyone likes getting some validation from time to time. And though getting a man’s opinion isn’t at the forefront of most women’s minds, being on the receiving end of a compliment is always nice.

In the past, some men were told to “sandwich” their compliments between insults and make them more like backhanded remarks. But the practice of negging has since been criticized for the toxic behavior it was. If your view of compliments was skewed by that trend, you may need a refresher on how to compliment a woman properly.

First and foremost, you should make sure that what you’re saying is appropriate for the setting and the level of connection you have developed with the woman in question. Remember, there’s a time and place for every kind of compliment — even the more risqué ones. But you shouldn’t lay it on too thick or too soon lest you come across as creepy. Instead, adjust your comments according to the context and time them right!

Generally, it’s best to start by complimenting the non-physical aspects of a person. Tell the woman you’re flirting with that she has a nice laugh, or that something she said was funny.

If you need to comment on an aspect of her appearance, try to stick to things she can change, to begin with. As a rule, you shouldn’t comment, positively or negatively, on her actual body. Instead of telling her you like the way her legs look, tell her her jeans look good on her. Just keep in mind that even looking below the belt can be too aggressive if you’re talking to a new acquaintance.

7. Tease Her


As you develop your relationship, you’ll be able to sexualize a conversation quickly through compliments. But even then, you’ll need to read the room and her mood before tossing out a lewd comment. Luckily, there are other ways to keep yourself on her mind without actually mentioning her attributes. Namely, you can always engage in some good, old-fashioned teasing.

A classic example would be to accuse her of coming onto you when she shows even the slightest interest in you. Naturally, the joke would be in the fact that you’ve been pursuing her more diligently.

Another way to tease your girl would be to hint at things that will happen later on while you’re still in public. Writing notes is a tried and true way of sharing intimate information in public settings. Alternatively, you could try whispering an inside joke in her ear while you’re with friends. Soft-spoken comments that are for her ears only are a great way to build intimacy.

These little moments are also the perfect opportunity to showcase your sense of humor. And isn’t that one of the most important traits you can bring into the bedroom too? Being able to joke around and take things in stride shows that you’ll be present and non-judgemental later on.

8. Let Her Miss You


Mounting scientific evidence seems to support the adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder. With that in mind, you might want to schedule some time away from your partner. Not having access to you could make her more sexually assertive the next time you see her. That’s bound to be fun for both of you.

However, that time apart is also a good way to show off other desirable traits. As we have established, having hobbies that go beyond hanging out with girls you like is a great way to demonstrate your passionate nature and go-getter attitude.

So focus on honing your skills or seeing friends and family while you’re apart. If you really want to, you can even post about what you’re doing online to tease her. That’ll make her aware that you have other things on your mind.

Don’t get us wrong, if you want to build a stable relationship, you should work on creating a secure attachment to your partner. But that also includes having a life beyond the woman you’re being intimate with. And the same goes for her!

9. Set Her Free

Along the same lines, being apart is also a good way to show your girl that you support her quest for independence. You should encourage her to pursue her dreams, spend time with her friends, and just relax when she’s not with you. And, if you want extra brownie points, you can even help her do so by taking some of her responsibilities off her hands.

10. Help Her Out

Being attentive toward the girl you like can go a long way toward making her like you back. Depending on your level of connection, that kind of behavior can include anything from carrying her bags or tying her shoes to helping her put together furniture. Essentially, you should be there when she needs you.

Knowing she can rely on you to lessen the burdens of her everyday life will make her much more inclined to see you as a sexual partner. As long as you don’t make yourself a complete slave to her every wish, this dynamic could help you get what you want. It’s just another way to eliminate stressors to get her to relax and enter a sexier state of mind.

If she doesn’t need your help with anything in particular, there are other ways to manufacture situations where you can be of service. For example, you can pull her calves into your lap when you’re watching TV and give her a little massage. Many women have also expressed an interest in having their partners play with their hair. So if you see her brushing or braiding her locks, offer to help her out.

Alternatively, you could ask to paint her nails if she breaks out the polish bottles in front of you. And if the situation ends up in a steamy romp, you can help her fix the smudged paint.

11. Cook for Her


In addition to opening doors and taking your girl’s bag off her hands, cooking is a crucial caretaking task that’s guaranteed to make her crazy about you. That’s why you should always have a few recipes up your sleeve, even if you’re not generally a talented cook.

This tip may come from antiquated ideas about being able to provide for your partner but hey: if it works, it works. Staging a romantic candlelit dinner certainly never hurt anyone’s chances with a woman. Just make sure to clean the dishes and take out the trash when you’re done or it’ll have all been for naught.

Aside from cooking, you can also show your girl that she’s your priority by offering her the first bite of any food you’re eating. For example, you could:

• Serve her the first slice of pizza when you order in
• Give her the first slice of fruit when you cut some
• Offer her the first bite of popcorn at the movie theater

Making these little actions habitual is sure to make her the envy of all her friends.

12. Initiate Physical Contact

Now, if we were talking about how to seduce a man, this would have been our only tip. But since women are a bit more complex, you’ll have to set the scene with the other steps on this list first. Still, now that we’re nearing the end of our guide, we can finally talk about physical contact.

Generally, most women appreciate a slow burn when it comes to touching. Therefore, you should be open to non-sexual interactions like dancing, cuddling, or holding hands. Even if you don’t particularly like doing those things, the woman you like might. So you might as well put up with it for her sake.

As the tension builds, you’ll start bringing in other kinds of touch, but again without any kinds of expectations. Good things come to those who wait. You can build up from touching her hands to her arms, shoulders, and neck.

If you want to make it look natural, try moving her hair off her shoulder or tucking a strand behind her ear. Our ears are incredibly sensitive so tracing the outer edge of her ear is sure to drive her wild.

Lingering touches seem to be a real crowd-pleaser. Make it look like you’re unaware of what you’re doing. Absentmindedly rub her shoulder or lightly squeeze her hand before letting go. If you want to draw her attention to something when you’re out with friends, gently bump her knee with your own under the table.

13. Take Charge

Eventually, you’ll be able to introduce more daring forms of seduction. On the one hand, you can openly and directly state what you want to see if you’re on the same page. If she’s the kind of woman who likes to be dominated, you can just make a move and see where that gets you.

Trail your fingers up her arms until you reach her face — that will give her time to refuse. If she seems into it, you can kiss her while keeping your hands on the sides of her face or the back of her neck. These small touches can amplify the sensations of the kiss.

If you’ve already been intimate with a woman and you find her in a relaxed state, hugging her from behind could jumpstart a sexual situation. Similarly, leading a woman by the small of her back can be a huge turn-on. But those aren’t things you can do if you aren’t already intimately familiar with a woman.

14. Take Your Time

There’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man who can take his time. If you want to know how to turn a girl on, you just need to be able to enjoy the thrill of pursuit. Once you start considering foreplay a crucial part of any sexual interaction, you’ll be able to give a woman what she needs.

Be open to talking about what turns her on and exploring different things with her. If your conversations reveal a hidden desire, don’t be shy about researching the topic. Ask her what kind of erotic content she likes and see what you can learn from it. But keep in mind that some fantasies only work on paper — she may not want to try every kink she likes watching or reading about.

During sex, as you warm up, you should stay present and attentive to the signals your partner is giving off. After all, consent should be continuously given. If anything doesn’t work at the moment, switch it up. Otherwise, you’d just come off as a selfish lover.

And if you want to change the game, challenge her to take you across the finish line — or even make the first move. Handing over the reins and sitting back patiently may give her the confidence boost she needs to get you both going.

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